Friday, May 07, 2010

A few things I'm learning

I've been on my MBA foreign business excursion for more than a week now.  I feel I've been learning a lot, and I wrote about some of it in some chats I had tonight w/ my wife, and a good friend, Dennis.  Here's some of what I wrote:

BlaineUSA says:


wow. you're burining the midnight oil too, I see.

Dennis says:

always

BlaineUSA says:

Dude, I'm growing a lot! The timing of this trip (new job, baby-still not here, but probably will be before I get back, My boy's 1st days at cub scouts, etc. etc. etc.) . . . makes for the perfect storm of good solid growth opportunity.

Dennis says:

cool! like how?

i never can seem to tell when i'm actually growing.

BlaineUSA says:

I think the stress of all I have to think about--on the what's going on at home front--coupled with the mind-blowing things I'm seeing and doing, and the amazing interactions with amazing people (companies). .. . and observing a few personality types of some of my peers that I hope NOT to become like . . . .

I don't know it's all working together to help re-shift a few paradigms I didn't know needed shifting.

. . .and you're right, it'd be hard to put a real finger on WHAT exactly is shifting. . . but I feel like I'll go home a different person than when I left.

. . .hopefully a better person.

Dennis says:

that's very cool!

i love it!

BlaineUSA says:

. . .probably a somewhat more serious person who is ready to start accepting responsibility for what I'm meant to actually DO with my life.

Dennis says:

i guess i kind of fell the same way...but i cant really tell...hard to explain because i NEVER have free time like this.

BlaineUSA says:

Right. . .the schedule is CRAZY. This is the FIRST moment I've had for reflection. (including plane rides--where I've mostly slept, JUST to keep up.

Dennis says:

so it's kind of a weird experience

BlaineUSA says:

One thing I've gained for sure, though, is an appreciation for relationships and people. I mean, I've always felt relationships/people are very important to me, and I've usually found it fairly easy to get comfortable with a group and make a few meaningful relationships ('hit it off') with a couple folks very quickly. . . but I've struggled with that on this trip to some extent.

Dennis says:

hmmm

BlaineUSA says:

and it's actually been VERY good for me. . . you know how I mentioned the 'chemestry' between Jackson and me not being quite there. . . I've learned how to deal with that a bit. . . .plus I've learned how it feels to not have real close connections immediately at hand for a time. . . and it has been very interesting. . .

I don't mean to sound lonely and I certainly hope you don't feel bad for me. I'm actually telling you all this out of an attitude of gratitude. This is only one of the things that I think has helped mold my perspective a little more to what it probably should be.

Dennis says:

very cool

BlaineUSA says:

. . .so tonight, I felt like I connected with a couple of my peers at a little deeper level, and it was very interesting to feel an immediate difference between how I felt BEFORE that, and how I felt AFTER that, and it helped me realize how very strongly I RELY on my connection with people.

Dennis says:

yeah....im very lonely here. but its just missing my wife.

BlaineUSA says:

I thought your wife was coming. ??

just Robert's Wife?

anyway--yeah. I think THAT vacancy is what opens up my mind to realize how MUCH I rely on that closeness to my wife--and others--for part of who I am.

Dennis says:

yeah...long story, but she couldnt come. just no infrastructure to watch our kids.

BlaineUSA says:

"that vacancy" = my wife not being here.

bummer, dude.

Dennis says:

yes

BlaineUSA says:

Anyway. Good chatting w/ you.

I best be off.

Dennis says:

likewist

likewise

peace out

BlaineUSA says:

ciao. 
 
 
 
 
Now, here's my chat w/ my wife:
 
 
Lisa says:


hey, hottie

BlaineUSA says:

hey. you around?

It was good talking with you, hottie. I perked up after we talked the first time, and I had a really good night.

Lisa says:

did you?

that is good. you always sound so down, i worry that you are just miserable

which i know they run you down and you can't sleep on planes, i bet you are worn out

BlaineUSA says:

I've been missing REAL companionship of any kind on this trip (my roommate and I just don't click--I don't think he really clicks w/ anyone, though, and that's a little too bad--nother story, though). . . anyway, I got a chance to really just bond w/ a guy. . .

we had a good bro. date, and I think we now have a real bro. mance going on.

so. . . that was what I felt like I've been missing--and I got it.

You musta prayed for me.

Lisa says:

sam will be SO jealous

BlaineUSA says:

Anyway. . .Had a great night. . . I'm MUCH happier.

No. . . me and Sam have a pretty open relationship.

Lisa says:

I am praying for you

BlaineUSA says:

It's actually pretty fun that way.

Lisa says:

keeping your options open?

You're secret is safe with me

BlaineUSA says:

No. . .I'm never leaving Sam. He knows it. We're just open to kindling the 'mance w/ others as well.

Lisa says:

;0

BlaineUSA says:



you're hot.

I pray for you A Lot, too.

Lisa says:

thanks

BlaineUSA says:

Seems like church is the hardest thing for me when I'm away from you and the fam.

We had church today, and it really made me home sick.

Lisa says:

in a synagogue this time?

BlaineUSA says:

(Friday's the Sabbath in Dubai, so even though we were in Cairo, we celebrated Dubai's sabbath, since when our sabbath rolls around, it's actually a work day, we wanted to get on track.)

Lisa says:

cool

BlaineUSA says:

We had church in a large meeting room at the Marriot.



WAY cool room.

VERY condusive to church, but a little on the ornate side.

It was awesome.

One of the professor's wives gave a talk on the power of having a true sense of LOVE for our fellow man, and at one point she mentioned how just the simple act of 'Jesus wants me for a sunbeam' to our children bears an impact. . . .and I thought about how my little Bryson man loves that song, and how he asks for me to sing it to him as I'm putting him down. . . and I just lost it.

Lisa says:

that is really cool. did you take pics even though it was church?

BlaineUSA says:

But it was a very good experience.

I got some good pics.

Lisa says:

I bet you did. it made me teary eyed reading this just now

BlaineUSA says:

I even took a small video sample of us all singing the closing hymn.

. . . yeah. . . I'm bawling again.

Lisa says:

in fact, i sang it to him not 2 hours ago for nap time

BlaineUSA says:

But I'm not sad.

In fact--I've come to feel more and more like this experience. . . even this being away . . . is very important for us for some reason.

Lisa says:

yeah,... i have been making up pics for my albums, and i missed a couple things so i have been going through old pics. like j being a little baby. such cute kids. they are so grown up now

BlaineUSA says:

. . . not because I suspect that we'll be away from eachother a lot. . . but because I'm GROWING in ways I didn't know I need to grow.

Lisa says:

me too

i think we are learning a lot....i just hate it

BlaineUSA says:



Lisa says:



BlaineUSA says:

If you didn't. . . it wouldn't be growing, I guess.

But honestly, I have already had life-changing; perspective-altering experiences.

It has been amazing.

Lisa says:

I just hope we are learning what we need too so that we don't have to keep going through this

what kind of experiences. are you writing them down?

BlaineUSA says:

Yes. I agree.

no. I should, shouldn't I.

One thought that was eye opening that one of the business leaders shared with me was this: Someone asked 'how do you dare do business in all these places we hear such terrible things about? (i.e. Syria, Sudan, Iraq, etc.)' . . .

Lisa says:

you really should. it'll be your most important souvenier

BlaineUSA says:

His response was something I've known, but I think forgotten some what. He said. . .what you see on the news in these locations is:

a. blown to as large a proportion as the media feel comfortable blowing it so it makes a good story. . .

b. usually localized to one or two, or maybe a few incidents in a very specific location. ..

the media does not cover the fact that there are acres and acres of soybean fields 30 miles from the location that experience nothing of the fear the media seeks to produce. And those fields have the capacity to bring millions of dollars to someone willing to harvest and market them meaningfully to a country full of people who--for the most part--aren't really even involved in the 'scary things'

you see on TV.

When he said it, (or whatever it was that he actually said that sort of communicated that thought). . . I realized I have been somewhat taken in--and believe--a bit of what I see on TV.

The truth is. . . most people are good people, and opportunity surrounds us no matter how scary others may see the world as being.

Another eye-opener has been how little I care about the little street markets on this trip.

Lisa says:

wow...what a neat thought. and...WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY HUSBAND?

BlaineUSA says:

HA!. . . I know, right? I mean that has been the best part of these things for me, right?. . . I don't know if it's cuz I feel the value of the crap their selling is really less than the cost they're selling it for or what. . .

But I've had this inclination to want to get to know people instead. . . and at these markets, how do you do that? All they care about is selling their crap, and all they want me to be caring about is buying their crap. . . .

. . . so when I seek value in getting to know people--or A people, or a person for that matter--the shopping experience offers me little value, because you can't have any kind of REAL interaction there.

I think my interest has shifted a bit from "what kind of crap can I get for cheap at the market" to a bit more of a documentary mentality, where I'd really like to know about people.

Lisa says:

that is good. maybe you are just maturing

BlaineUSA says:

I think the things I'll cherrish most from this trip are a: the things I'm learning and the ways in which I'm growing, and b: the people and relationships I'm building.

Lisa says:

maybe you are getting to know people as part of the growing experience the lord wants you to have right now

BlaineUSA says:

Still--I'm happy to look for stuff in the market. Especially if it's for others. But I haven't really seen anything that I REALLY wanted. . . .

Even the PERFECT leather jacket. . . I found it.

I couldda had it for less than $100 without a doubt.

Didn't buy it.

Lisa says:

no cool purses.. not that YOU would want it anyway!

BlaineUSA says:

It didn't mean anything to have it.

Lisa says:

good. for you

BlaineUSA says:

Yeah. . .It's really wierd.

Lisa says:

materialism is dying in my hubby? never thought i would see the day

BlaineUSA says:

Oh no. . .it's not dying. . .rest assured its not dying. I think I decided tonight that I really DO think I should get a Ferrari some day.



(I'm hoping your LOL'ing right now.)



Lisa says:

no

okay, maybe now i am

BlaineUSA says:

anyway: Here's a list of people that I want to keep tabs on--new friends: Rafi, our tour guide in Morocco. Jenny and Hassan, the owners of the Jeans Company in Morocco. Amina, the Moroccan belly dancer that wanted to make out with me on the plane (K, maybe I'm exagerating that a bit), Amr, the marketing manager for BMW in Egypt. Maggie Nassif, the BYU contact for egypt program. And who know

knows for Dubai, Abu Dahbi, and Turkey. . .

Lisa says:

huh...those are interesting people to want to keep track of.

i say no on the belly dancer chick...too threatening

mmmm...cheeseburgers

BlaineUSA says:

Ha!

cheeseburgers???

baby. . .she ain't got nothing on you.

Lisa says:

sorry....magnum is eating a cheeseburger, and I think I might run to stephs tonight. it just looks so freakin good

did i mention i'm still pregnant?

BlaineUSA says:

. . .but yeah. . .I'm fine ending that relationship. . .just as soon as I can get some pics and vids to give to Wade. I promised him I would. ;()

Lisa says:

not to make you homesick more, but bryson woke up and is sitting next to me just snuggled up. I love him

BlaineUSA says:

ooooooooh!!!!

Give him a big huge hug and kiss for me.

Lisa says:

thanks....all the kids are awake and home now. brandon brought me two plants for mother's day, and BJ brought home a present for me for mother's day. i think it is really fun

BlaineUSA says:

How neat.

Lisa says:

did i mention that yesterday i asked brandon if his teacher talked to him about recess, and he said "yes, during recess" freakin' a

she just doesn't get it

BlaineUSA says:

I hope you have a FANTASTIC mother's day, despite my not being there. . .and not really knowing how to DO anything for you for mother's day either.

Lisa says:

but he had a good day

ha...don't worry about it

i know you love me, and that is good enough for me

BlaineUSA says:

You're amazing.

I DO love you, baby. With ALL my heart.

Lisa says:

i know...mother's day will be a good day. BJ has his article of faith all memorized, and my paren'ts are doing dinner for me, andrea, and james and heather.

i think it'll be fun

and, hopefully i'll stay pregnant for at least 8 more days

then, i can be a mom again

BlaineUSA says:



I remember you had B.T. just before Mother's day too.

. . .er "too" makes it sound like I expect you'll have this one before sunday.

Lisa says:

ha...yeah....we were going for AFTER mother's day this time

BlaineUSA says:

right.

got it.

Lisa says:

8 days

BlaineUSA says:

well, keep going for it, as long as the DR says that's the healthy thing to do.

Lisa says:

i will...i see him again tuesday

BlaineUSA says:

right.

that's coming right up.

Lisa says:

yeah.  
 
 
 

2 comments:

Lhone said...

is that the same dennis that we went to his house for swimming? what trip is he on?

and, wo...dejavu

love you

Karen said...

Well Blaine, I'm glad I had the opportunity of reading this whole write-up. I really enjoyed reading it and hearing what you meant when you said to me that you are really "growing" on this trip. I'm sorry for your loneliness that you were having at first, (and I know you didn't want to call it THAT), :) , but I'm glad for the insights you were able to get.

And I know what you're meaning about seeing MORE to the countries than what the media portrays. Lots of years ago when we lived in Arizona (Tempe), I had a wonderful Mexican neighbor who became my good, good friend--Josefina. She was from Culiacan, Sinaloa (or however you spell it), and she said to me in very broken English..."Oh Kayreen, do not beleeb all the tings you see on de t.b. Dey make it all WRONG. Dey show my beautiful Mehico as a dirty, lazy, ugly, no-do-anyting place, and it is NOT dat way! It is Bee-U-ti-ful!! It is WONDERFUL! People work! Dey make everyting BEE-Utiful!! Dey bery--how you say?--AMBITIOUS! We LOVE our country!" And I've always thought about that since then. (However, I must admit that I DO rely on whatever the media shows, in order to form my opinions--sorry to say.)

Woops--I have tons more to say, but wrong place to say it. Bye for now, my son. Keep enjoying yourself like you are. Keep learning. (Sorry, but Lisa was not able to "hold out" till Mother's Day--you kinda had it right with your little premonition there.) Love, Mom